In a moment of incredible frustration Rachel demands of Jacob: “Give me sons or I die!” His response is one of great anger.
Of the
many commentators who attempt to explain his fury, the explanation of Rabbi
Isaac Arama (Spain, 1420-1494) is notable. Commenting on the creation, Arama
explains the substantive difference between “Isha-woman“ and “Chava-Eve.”
The former is indicative of those things of the woman shares with the man:
knowledge, understanding and good deeds, like those of the Matriarchs, while
“Eve” refers to the ability to bear children. Arama explains that a woman who
does not have children is prevented from the fulfilling her secondary
(literally, “small”) purpose but like a man who does not have children, her
legacy is her good deeds. Therefore, Jacob was angry at Rachel because he
wanted to teach her that the true purpose of any person, man or woman, is doing
good deeds.
Even
if Arama understood Jacob’s intentions correctly, fury was not a suitable
response. Truth spoken in anger will neither console nor educate. Be that as it
may, their exchange is hardly surprising because neither of them came from
families that knew how to clarify issues through direct conversation. Jacob is
in Haran because his parents did not know how to discuss transmission of their
inheritance, and Laban made sure that his daughters began married life with a
major failure of communications.
“When
morning came, it was Leah!” Like many readers, the rabbis were puzzled about
how Jacob could not have known, but avoid what I think is the simplest
explanation: he was drunk. It’s easy to imagine trickster Laban and his cronies
encouraging the groom to drink one toast after another so he truly would not
know with whom he was sleeping. It works, ask Lot. Apparently, the rabbis did
not want to disgrace a Patriarch by pulling him down to the level of Lot, but
we should also pay attention to the fact that of all possible solutions, they
chose one that depicts Rachel as someone who does deeds ofחסד - ḥesed, loving
kindness:
[As the Israelites were being
exiled by Nebuchadnezzar, after the destruction of the First Temple] Rachel
spoke before the Holy Blessed One: “Ruler of the World, remember that Jacob
loved me greatly, and worked for me for seven years. But when that time was up
my father chose to give him Leah in my place. This distressed me greatly, so I
told Jacob and gave him a sign, so he could distinguish between us. But then I
had pity on my sister and I taught her the sign.” (Lamentations Rabbah,
Opening 24).
Paying a
high personal price, Rachel chooses to protect the honor of her sister Leah and
responds with ḥesed (“loving kindness”), thereby sowing seeds of ḥesed
that will grow not only for her own future but also for her descendants. The
midrash continues:
The mercy of God was stirred by
Rachel’s argument, and God said: “For your sake, Rachel, I will restore the
house of Israel to its place, as it is written, ‘Restrain your voice from
weeping, Your eyes from shedding tears; For there is a reward for your labor,
declares the Lord, they shall return to their borders’(Jeremiah 31).”
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| Lev Echad Command Center in Mercaz Tamar at Hod veHadar |
There is hope for Rachel and her descendants because of the great with ḥesed she did for her sister Leah.
I wrote
these words on 6 November/22 Marcheshvan, 30 days after the massacre and destruction of the western Negev. After the devastation, we witnessed an
incredible outpouring of ḥesed. If any hope emerges from the tragedy, it will be only (or primarily) because of that ḥesed.
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