The Babylonian
Talmud (Taanit 21a) tells with amazement about Nahum Ish Gamzu who, despite extremely
severe suffering, would always respond by saying, “This too is for the good.”
Without detracting from the inner strength of this extraordinary person, it is important
to ask whether this attitude is mandatory. Is every individual expected to respond
to all suffering with acceptance?
The example
of Rebecca at the beginning of this portion teaches us that it is not.
After
many years of barrenness, Isaac prays to God in the presence of his wife and she
becomes pregnant (Gen. 25:21). All the other stories about pregnancy in the Torah
are very short (for example: “Leah conceived and bore a son, and named him
Reuben” [Gen 29:32]), as if the pregnancy itself was a non-event. Perhaps this is
the best proof that the Torah was written by men. Pregnancy – even a desired, healthy
pregnancy – is a complex and sometimes painful experience. Rebecca discovers this
and does not remain silent: “If so, why do I exist?” (Gen. 25:22). The midrash and
classical commentators do not try to beautify her words. According to Rashi, she
wonders why she wanted to conceive in the first place: “If the pain of
pregnancy is so severe, why did I desire and pray to become pregnant” Ramban goes
even further. In his reading, Rebecca is willing to forgo not only pregnancy but
life itself: “Would that I did not exist, that I should die or never have come
into existence.”
Does
the Torah condemn her for this “heresy?” Not at all. In her distress, Rivka turns
to the Highest Authority, “and she went to inquire of the Eternal” (ibid.). She inquires and receives
a response. As befits an oracle, the answer is enigmatic, but neither denies
her pain nor reprimands her for the question. Rather, God confirms the
legitimacy of her question by providing information. Rebecca’s pregnancy is a stage
on the way to the establishment of the people of Israel. The process involves suffering,
and the Torah does not take it lightly.
Another
stage of our existence as a nation began on 7 October 2023, and the scope of
the suffering around us continues to increase. We are repeatedly called to respond
to suffering, our own and that of others. In the presence of immediate grief and
pain, it is important for us to remember two lessons from Rebecca’s story: first,
it is permissible, even beneficial, to cry out in pain; second, even explanations
that come directly from God are not always clear. Therefore, it is preferable to
support the people who are suffering and leave the explanations to other forums.
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