Tuesday, November 26, 2024

Parashat Toldot: Do not silence the pain

 Hebrew

The Babylonian Talmud (Taanit 21a) tells with amazement about Nahum Ish Gamzu who, despite extremely severe suffering, would always respond by saying, “This too is for the good.” Without detracting from the inner strength of this extraordinary person, it is important to ask whether this attitude is mandatory. Is every individual expected to respond to all suffering with acceptance?

The example of Rebecca at the beginning of this portion teaches us that it is not.

After many years of barrenness, Isaac prays to God in the presence of his wife and she becomes pregnant (Gen. 25:21). All the other stories about pregnancy in the Torah are very short (for example: “Leah conceived and bore a son, and named him Reuben” [Gen 29:32]), as if the pregnancy itself was a non-event. Perhaps this is the best proof that the Torah was written by men. Pregnancy – even a desired, healthy pregnancy – is a complex and sometimes painful experience. Rebecca discovers this and does not remain silent: “If so, why do I exist?” (Gen. 25:22). The midrash and classical commentators do not try to beautify her words. According to Rashi, she wonders why she wanted to conceive in the first place: “If the pain of pregnancy is so severe, why did I desire and pray to become pregnant” Ramban goes even further. In his reading, Rebecca is willing to forgo not only pregnancy but life itself: “Would that I did not exist, that I should die or never have come into existence.”

Does the Torah condemn her for this “heresy?” Not at all. In her distress, Rivka turns to the Highest Authority, “and she went to inquire of the Eternal” (ibid.). She inquires and receives a response. As befits an oracle, the answer is enigmatic, but neither denies her pain nor reprimands her for the question. Rather, God confirms the legitimacy of her question by providing information. Rebecca’s pregnancy is a stage on the way to the establishment of the people of Israel. The process involves suffering, and the Torah does not take it lightly.

Another stage of our existence as a nation began on 7 October 2023, and the scope of the suffering around us continues to increase. We are repeatedly called to respond to suffering, our own and that of others. In the presence of immediate grief and pain, it is important for us to remember two lessons from Rebecca’s story: first, it is permissible, even beneficial, to cry out in pain; second, even explanations that come directly from God are not always clear. Therefore, it is preferable to support the people who are suffering and leave the explanations to other forums.

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Parashat Toldot: Do not silence the pain

 Hebrew The Babylonian Talmud (Taanit 21a) tells with amazement about Nahum Ish Gamzu who, despite extremely severe suffering, would alway...